i cant think straight knowing youre not thinking straight. my mind is blank and i feel like ive lost everything. i dont know what to do. im trying so hard to help you out of this, and its like youre rejecting me. your heart wants to talk to me, i can tell by the way you talk to me, you havent lost that feeling at all. but your mind is crushing you. you have to let be what the heart wants. you used to that so easily, but now youre filling up your mind with all this bullshit. let it go, let us start over. it was so easy for you to just talk to me like how we used to talk, and its so hard to tell me that you just want me as a friend. why? because your mind split from your heart. you cant do this to yourself and you cant do this to me anymore. ive been worried and upset day and night since the day you havent been acting yourself. nick just please, let everything that upsets your mind go. youre letting it get to you and its making you act like the person i know youre not. i wish my fucking english project could be on you, because i would fucking get an A++++++. but anyways, its true, and you know it is. i know i said you cant force things you dont feel, but how can you tell me you love me so much and its so easy for you to say but then you try to find the words to tell me you dont know anymore? go with your heart like you always used to. because i love that nick, he was the amazing, smart, handsome, determined and so talented. so musically talented. youre the perfect fucking guy for me and you know im just right for you. you cant push that away, whats meant to be is whats meant to be. we didnt break up in 8th grade and find our way back to each other now just to let that go. that was meant for us and you know it. clear your mind and just let things flow like you used to. you know no one will know you or get to know the side of you that i do. and only you will know the side of me that no one else does. just like you tell me, your heart still feels like it sinks into your stomache when you tell me you love me, thats your heart and your feelings, you cant let your mind control that. let you feel for me, im not going anywhere. you have nothing to worry about. i feel for you more than anything in this world. you know you love the moments we have. you tell me you love when i scrunch up when you tickle me, and the way my body is close to yours when you wrap your arms around me, and the way i look at you, just like the way i feel speechless when you look at me, the way you tell me you love to make me so happy. the way you always just wanted to see me, even if it was just for an hour, the way we stupidly argued about things because we cared so much, the way you hold my body in yours, the way you kiss me and we have little kissing and romantic tickling and wresteling. the way i tickle you and you tell me to stop but i love to do it because i see you genuinely smile. the way your eyes meet with mine drives me insane. the way i get so happy to see you during the day. you know you feel this way, and you cant stop it.