just hear me out, ill take the suffering for you if i KNOW you wont leave me and just take a break. we need it now more than ever. dont make me wait for it. because then were both just thinking about how were just waiting for it to come. take it now, just for 2 weeks until our camping trip. i promise it will be fine.
god i fucking love you.
don’t make me snap my fingers in a z formation
hip rotation
booty sensation
ＥＴＥＲＮＡＬ ＤＡＭＮＡＴＩＯＮ
*snaps fingers in a pentagram formation*
*says a Latin incantation*
waits for lucifer with anticipation
your waiting is over my friends
ALL HAIL THE LORD SATAN
what the fuck is wrong with this website
(via nickisevenfold)
you cant push me away.
do you see how you just cracked a smile? you didnt even notice that you look into my eyes and you smile. thats your heart working over your mind. let it be like that, because i love it.
i cant think straight knowing youre not thinking straight. my mind is blank and i feel like ive lost everything. i dont know what to do. im trying so hard to help you out of this, and its like youre rejecting me. your heart wants to talk to me, i can tell by the way you talk to me, you havent lost that feeling at all. but your mind is crushing you. you have to let be what the heart wants. you used to that so easily, but now youre filling up your mind with all this bullshit. let it go, let us start over. it was so easy for you to just talk to me like how we used to talk, and its so hard to tell me that you just want me as a friend. why? because your mind split from your heart. you cant do this to yourself and you cant do this to me anymore. ive been worried and upset day and night since the day you havent been acting yourself. nick just please, let everything that upsets your mind go. youre letting it get to you and its making you act like the person i know youre not. i wish my fucking english project could be on you, because i would fucking get an A++++++. but anyways, its true, and you know it is. i know i said you cant force things you dont feel, but how can you tell me you love me so much and its so easy for you to say but then you try to find the words to tell me you dont know anymore? go with your heart like you always used to. because i love that nick, he was the amazing, smart, handsome, determined and so talented. so musically talented. youre the perfect fucking guy for me and you know im just right for you. you cant push that away, whats meant to be is whats meant to be. we didnt break up in 8th grade and find our way back to each other now just to let that go. that was meant for us and you know it. clear your mind and just let things flow like you used to. you know no one will know you or get to know the side of you that i do. and only you will know the side of me that no one else does. just like you tell me, your heart still feels like it sinks into your stomache when you tell me you love me, thats your heart and your feelings, you cant let your mind control that. let you feel for me, im not going anywhere. you have nothing to worry about. i feel for you more than anything in this world. you know you love the moments we have. you tell me you love when i scrunch up when you tickle me, and the way my body is close to yours when you wrap your arms around me, and the way i look at you, just like the way i feel speechless when you look at me, the way you tell me you love to make me so happy. the way you always just wanted to see me, even if it was just for an hour, the way we stupidly argued about things because we cared so much, the way you hold my body in yours, the way you kiss me and we have little kissing and romantic tickling and wresteling. the way i tickle you and you tell me to stop but i love to do it because i see you genuinely smile. the way your eyes meet with mine drives me insane. the way i get so happy to see you during the day. you know you feel this way, and you cant stop it.
why do you have to fucking do that to me. tell me goodmorning baby and call me beautiful. then you fucking act all awkward. dont do this to me. stop overthinking everything and go with what your heart wants. i know youre still in love with me, i believe it. its not your hearts thats telling you no, its your mind. you have to stop thinking so hard about this. please just take a step back and realize what you have right fucking in front of you.
you tell me “goodmorning baby :)” see? how can you tell yourself youre not in love with me anymore
theres no possible way that you can just lose feelings for a person. nick the way you talked to me last night was exactly how we used to talk when we first started dating. it felt sooo right and you cant deny that. i told you it wasnt that hard to start over. theres no way your feelings are gone for me, i hear it in the way that you talk to me. all this questioning yourself is bullshit. you know it. why cant you see that the spark between us is still here? i cant believe this has gotten to the point where i have to remind you of that. youre giving up on me and thats the problem. youre overthinking all of this & thinking way too ahead of yourself. what happened to the nick i knew that just lived for now? you cant torture yourself with the past and the future. but this whole questioning yourself if ultimately you giving up on what we have. i cant stay here if youre doing that. youre hurting me so much. and i think a reason why youre doing this is because you went out with that fucking girl on saturday.
unless it just doesnt phase you that its killing me inside and you not being in love with me doesnt matter.
okay no really, you just called me and you talked your heart out about the simplest things, just like how we used to talk when we first started dating. how can you say you dont love me anymore ?! HOW. theres no way.
no, i cant just leave everything like that. i want to just be with you but you dont want to be with me. why? WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG TO MAKE YOU START TO QUESTION. i dont fucking get it!!!!!!!!!!!!! im ripping my fucking self apart because i just dont understand. i cant take this. i just want you to be mine and for you to want me that same way. im just so torn between what to think. my minds thoughts spins in circles and i cant think straight. i dont know how many more times i can say i just want you to want me. i wish i can fucking cast a spell on you and you can still feel the way you did. cmon man.
i never know what to say to you when i look at you. i see your eyes looking back at mine and i lose my train of thought. its hard for me to tell you bad things because i dont want bad things to happen. but i cant be stuck in the middle anymore. this whole time ive been pouring my heart out to you so you can hopefully realize that i care so much and i need you and i want to feel your love. but you just ended up confusing the hell out of me and making me feel like the past two years didnt mean shit. you start off by telling me that you dont know if you want to be in a relationship anymore, but then as the message goes on you say how much you seiously love me. on the phone you try saying youre just confused and you dont know what you want. come on nick. sometimes things get foggy and you cant find your way out, but you know what youre trying to find your way out to. and its not me. stop convincing yourself that you want me, because its just making things worse for the both of us. dont force it. i know you dont want to leave it because what we had was amazing, and it would be so hard to find something like that again, but if the feelings not there, you cant keep me here thinking you still love me. i am in love with you, with all of my heart, and to hear the person im in love with tell me he doesnt know if he wants me makes me feel like a piece of shit. i literally gave you every piece of me, i havent done that with ANYONE. you have my whole life in the palm of your hands. so when you dont know if you want that anymore, my whole life i gave to you is thrown away. i have nothing left. i tried so hard and it just led me to you figuring out you only loved me as a person and a friend…. you fucking killed me. i spent the last 2 years pretty much dedicating my life to you, because i thought i found the one. i thought i found the perfect fucking one who i could see myself potentially marrying one day. i told myself that i couldnt wait until we finished school, and you can come home from your tours and we can have a life together. i can fall asleep with you by my side and wake up with you still there. i can make you breakfast, we can shower together, do fun and exciting things around the world together, come home and make you dinner, give you a back massage and go to bed with you. thats what i aimed for. but now that i know youve been trying to convince yourself you love me, all of my dreams have been shot down. i always said to myself how im so fucking lucky to have someone as perfect as you to love me back. but it was all a fucking lie. it took you two years to start to realize im not what you actually want. im just a really good friend. stop forcing yourself to me, it makes me feel so fucking shitty that you dont love me and youre just forcing it. you cant push something thats not true. and i know you dont want to say it, because we wasted so much time together and you dont want me to leave. but you and i both know youre not in love with me the same way im in love with you. you and i know it. just say it so we can both move on with our lives. i cant be with a man who doesnt love me. i cant. it hurts me so much to know that you dont, but i cant stay and hurt us both. i dont want you to leave, i want you to stay and i want to convince you to be the person i fell in love with, but that wont happen. i want you to fucking wake up from this shithole youre in and realize you have a person who fucking loves you to death and accepts every part of you. you will honestly have such a hard time trying to find another person that will be like this for you. i dont want to give up on you, but youve given up on loving me and i just have to somehow accept it. i just want you to stop telling me you love me when you dont mean it. youre leading me on just for me to get more crushed. ugh god. i seriously cant take this. i dont know what i did to make you stop loving me. i did everything and anything for you. i dont know how you can just not be more than satisfied with what i do for you. i give up almost everything for you. i fucking gave my body to you. that is the hardest thing to grasp onto. that i gave you my body, and we had incredible moments together. but know that i know what i know now, you didnt actually love me. so all of it was meaningless. everything is shut down for me. i lost everything. i put all i had in you and now that i dont have you, i dont have anything anymore. now you know why it was so hard for me to open up to a person. i thought you were the one by the way you used to tell me i was your everything. but now i just got shot down. im sick of feeling unwanted and feeling like everything was ultimately a lie. go and try to find another girl. go make someone else happy and then tell them you dont know about them anymore. go do it to someone else, because i cant take it anymore.
